Many of you may be struggling with anger and reacting. This time is testing everyone’s patience and many of you continue to feel stuck or trapped. Anger is toxic to your system and bottom line when you are angry at something or someone no matter how long it is, the situation or person indirectly has control over you. It is impossible to not react all the time. We all do. However, you can respond most of the time versus reacting. This is the goal. To respond versus react.
This lock down is a contributing factor to your low emotional tolerance level, there is no doubt. It is frustrating. Remember, it is temporary just like everything else you have struggled with in your life. You got through those times and you will get through this time. So, I am all about creating awareness and you need to know that anger is a secondary emotion. You were not born angry and it is not genetic. You may have learned to be reactive if you grew up in a reactive household. You certainly can change to be responsive with awareness and practice. It all goes back to my whole belief that buried feelings never die and you must deal with how you feel first.
Anger is a secondary emotion; it does not come first. What comes first? Think about this, just like any electronic device or even a car, when it overheats, there is a primary reason. When you are angry, you physically feel it, you may feel tension and overheated. That is when you have to take a step back, shut down and dig a little within and ask yourself, “What is under my anger?” There are primary feelings that come first. I don’t care what situation it is or if you are 5 years old or 90. Always under anger (or frustration, annoyed, pissed off, hate etc all in the same category as anger) are primary feelings. Sadness and or hurt, or worry and or fear. I do not care what the situation is, challenge me, always under anger are one of these primary feelings or sometimes all.
In my next Just Be Mentally Free™ Minute, I will be discussing more about what is under anger. For now, start paying attention to your inner self. Even if you reacted take a step back, and ask yourself, “What’s under my anger?”