Author Archives: Paul Cartone, Psychotherapist, Life and Sports Performance Coach

About Paul Cartone, Psychotherapist, Life and Sports Performance Coach

I am Paul Cartone a Licensed Psychotherapist in NYS. I specialize in anxiety and panic attacks because I have been through it. I understand and know first hand what you may be going through. I personally developed a paradigm that I have found to work with thousands of patients that I have been blessed to help over the last 20 years. This paradigm will get you results plain and simple. My goal is to help those who want to take control of their life and free themselves from the emotional abyss as a result of being plagued with anxiety and panic attacks. Yes, there is hope! You can overcome this condition and live a life of freedom and peace.

Just Be Mentally Free Minute – Anger

Many of you may be struggling with anger and reacting. This time is testing everyone’s patience and many of you continue to feel stuck or trapped. Anger is toxic to your system and bottom line when you are angry at something or someone no matter how long it is, the situation or person indirectly has control over you. It is impossible to not react all the time. We all do. However, you can respond most of the time versus reacting. This is the goal. To respond versus react.

This lock down is a contributing factor to your low emotional tolerance level, there is no doubt. It is frustrating. Remember, it is temporary just like everything else you have struggled with in your life. You got through those times and you will get through this time. So, I am all about creating awareness and you need to know that anger is a secondary emotion. You were not born angry and it is not genetic. You may have learned to be reactive if you grew up in a reactive household. You certainly can change to be responsive with awareness and practice. It all goes back to my whole belief that buried feelings never die and you must deal with how you feel first.

Anger is a secondary emotion; it does not come first. What comes first? Think about this, just like any electronic device or even a car, when it overheats, there is a primary reason. When you are angry, you physically feel it, you may feel tension and overheated. That is when you have to take a step back, shut down and dig a little within and ask yourself, “What is under my anger?” There are primary feelings that come first. I don’t care what situation it is or if you are 5 years old or 90. Always under anger (or frustration, annoyed, pissed off, hate etc all in the same category as anger) are primary feelings. Sadness and or hurt, or worry and or fear. I do not care what the situation is, challenge me, always under anger are one of these primary feelings or sometimes all.
In my next Just Be Mentally Free™ Minute, I will be discussing more about what is under anger. For now, start paying attention to your inner self. Even if you reacted take a step back, and ask yourself, “What’s under my anger?”

 

Hope

Hope
In my book, (coming soon) “Just Be Mentally Free, Reset and Become Your True Self,” it’s a step by step guide to help get you to a place of self -love and peace that you deserve. I briefly talk about hope. Hope is part of our spirit within. For many, COVID-19 has crushed their spirit. You or someone you know may be experiencing a crushed spirit. As hopeless as you or someone you know may be, in the deepest depths of hopelessness, nothing can kill one’s spirit. Nothing. Your spirit lives forever. Proverb’s 18:14 says, “A person’s spirit sustains him through sickness-but who can bear a crushed spirit?”

So, who can bear a crushed spirit? Those who are strong in their faith and know they are loved by their creator. Just as COVID-19 is highly contagious, love is even more contagious. Love heals. Love always wins and people crave it. The transformation from hopelessness to hope is powered by God’s or your higher power’s love within you and you are more powerful than you know. So, the source of that power comes from a power even greater than yourself. Open yourself up to it. You were born with it. Love. Your spirit is powered by love, by God or your higher power’s love for you. If you have lost your way, made a wrong turn or have fallen; God or your higher power is waiting to pick you up and lead you back on your journey. All out of love. For those hopeless individuals who have lost their spirit, they too can begin to heal by you spreading your love. You can express it in different ways by simply listening and showing that you care. When you express love for others, your self-love strengthens every part of your being. Make the conscious decision right now to love.

justbementallyfree #covid19 #hopeless #faith #hope #love

Coronavirus Panic Attacks

Attention: There are a lot of people experiencing panic attacks and mistaking their symptoms thinking they have COVID-19. They end up in the emergency room and as a result valuable resources are used or wasted during this time of medical supply shortages. If you or someone you know is having panic attacks, this will help you understand what a panic attack is and how to deal with them. Panic Attacks are caused by anxiety and stress or possibly a medical condition. I’m writing this post assuming your panic attacks are situational due to the change in your life as a result of the pandemic.
When I was an adolescent, I began having panic attacks and struggled for years. I have helped people manage and heal from panic attacks for 21 years. This explanation is an excerpt from my book coming soon about anxiety and panic attacks. Simply stated, a panic attack happens as a result of your brain and nervous system sensing something is wrong. Chemicals are released. Sodium lactate, cortisol and adrenaline. Your body is now in “defense mode” and as a result we experience physical symptoms that can be very scary and make you feel that you could be dying or something bad will happen to you. Some common symptoms are:
• Your heart rate increases and you feel your heart is pounding through your chest.
• Your chest gets tight and you feel you are having a heart attack.
• Your fingers and toes may feel tingly or numb making you think you are having a heart attack.
• Your breathing can be constricted, you may hyperventilate making you feel like you will pass out.
• You sweat profusely thinking you have a fever.
• Your legs become weak and you may feel off balance.
• You feel like you are not in reality or connected to your body (derealization).
• You feel nausea.
Although these symptoms are scary when you are experiencing them, nothing bad will happen to you as a result of having a panic attack. In my 21 years of helping clients with panic attacks, no one has ever died, had a heart attack, lost their ability to breathe, passed out or vomited from having a panic attack. If you have had a panic attack and you are reading this, you are proof that you are ok. Panic attacks usually only last 2-3 minutes because our body can only maintain this state for so long. We can have multiple panic attacks in a day. They certainly can be debilitating, making us think we are sick, going to die or think we are going crazy. The good news is you are not crazy, losing your mind, or are going to die. So, what are the causes?
• Situational Worry. Situational worry leads to obsessive thoughts and multiple worries. This current COVID-19 pandemic is the perfect situational storm to cause panic attacks. All the future unknowns, feeling helpless and out of control. It’s situations like this that can trigger underlying root causes (buried feelings) that can manifest into a condition called anxiety.
• Anxiety. Anxiety is the most common cause of panic attacks. Anxiety is a condition that is developed over time and there are root causes. Anxiety is the opposite of situational worry. It’s consistent obsessive worry that can be experienced for years. After this pandemic is all said and done, if you cannot let go of the worry and are experiencing obsessive worry you may have anxiety. You can overcome anxiety, it’s not a disease contrary to what others may have heard from their doctor. It’s not genetic either. You may have been born a worrier and worry more than the average person but that’s not anxiety.
• Stress. Stress is different than anxiety. They are used interchangeably but they are different. Stress is about time and tasks. You have so much to do and not enough time in the day to do them. Tasks to complete, deadlines to meet, work to be done, etc. You feel stress physically when your stress level rises. It’s the “weight of the world” on your shoulders type of feeling. Your heart rate is elevated. Stress can intensify the worry leading to a panic attack. With awareness and good stress management, this can be fixed.
• Medical. I always tell my clients to rule out medical if they have persistent physical symptoms leading up to a panic attack and after. For example, if your resting heart rate is a concern, schedule an appointment to see your doctor.
How do you overcome a panic attack? If it’s situational, they will not happen once your situational worry is resolved. If it’s anxiety, they will go away once your anxiety is under control and resolved. If it’s stress, they will stop once your stress is better managed and in control. Until you know what the cause is, it’s all about positive self-talk and compassionate self-talk when you are having one. Most people suffering from anxiety and have panic attacks know when they are going to happen. Other’s may feel their panic attack came out of nowhere. This can happen but with awareness and understanding you can learn from past panic attacks when you are going to have one.
They do happen fast. So, even if you have one, you must practice positive self-talk and compassionate self-talk. The type of self-talk I am referring to is simple yet almost impossible when a panic attack is happening. It is literally like learning a new language. It takes incredible awareness, time and patience. You must do the following when you are having a panic attack:
• Accept. Say, “I accept that I am having a panic attack.” Right now, you must convince yourself that you “accept” you are going to have a panic attack. Accepting is the opposite of resisting. When we are having a panic attack, we feel out of control and need to be in control. So, it’s counter intuitive to “accept.” Accepting frees you and opens you up to healing. Acceptance is key to everything in life.
• Allow yourself to feel it. Say, “I’m accepting and allowing myself to feel this worry and panic attack.” This is also counter intuitive. Our logic says if we allow ourselves to feel it, we will be out of control or die causing us to fight the panic attack and resist. Accepting and allowing yourself to feel it will make the panic less intense over time and less frequent. Again, it takes incredible awareness and discipline to accept and allow yourself to feel them when it’s happening.
• Positive Self-Talk. Say, “It’s okay I am feeling this worry and panic.” “I know I will be okay when this panic attack is over.” Most people resist and try to control panic attacks saying, “What’s wrong with me?” or “I can’t take it, why is this happening to me, I must be crazy.” Don’t do this. Do not try to control them or beat yourself up. Talk to yourself like you are a three year old with compassion and love.
• Breathe as best as you can. Diaphragmatic breathing will put you in a relaxed state. You must do the previous self-talking steps first or deep breathing is just a distraction and will make panic attacks worse.
• Energy Tapping. I will be posting a video soon combining energy tapping with the above steps. Energy tapping is incredibly healing and will lessen the intensity of panic attacks when they are happening. https://youtu.be/JxIZ27crvY4
• Forgive yourself if you put yourself down or cannot master overcoming them. Say, “I forgive myself for having this panic attack” or “I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have them.”
If you are experiencing panic attacks, they are most likely caused by situational worry, anxiety or stress. Look up the symptoms to COVID-19, they are not the same. COVID-19 symptoms are fever, tiredness, and dry cough and in severe cases difficulty breathing. Remember, a panic attack only lasts minutes followed by feeling calm or tired when it’s over. You will be ok!
© Copyright 2020 Paul Cartone/Just Be Mentally Free™. All Rights Reserved
#panicattacks
#coronavirus
#covid19
#anxiety

New Year, New You!

faith-to-succeed-affirmationHappy New Year! I’m excited about and looking forward to 2017.  For me, the start of the New Year means it’s time to clean, refresh and reset the mind and body.  There is no time like the present to become “emotionally fit.”  Check out this article I wrote to get a better understanding of what being “emotionally fit” is: https://affinitycounselingservicesllc.wordpress.com/2015/04/07/keep-your-head-in-the-game/

The main component of this is an “emotional cleanse.” Why an “emotional cleanse?” It’s quite simple. Buried feelings never die. They are toxins and effect every cell in our body. An “emotional cleanse” will eliminate and rid your body from these toxins.  Go here for a full explanation:  https://affinitycounselingservicesllc.wordpress.com/you-need-an-emotional-cleanse/

Once we “emotionally cleanse” and are “emotionally fit” our mind and body work in unison and we can better function at a more optimal level.  Self-defeating, negative subconscious thoughts are easier to overcome and even erased. As a result, our chances are great that those other New Year’s resolutions will get accomplished.

So make yourself a priority and commit to yourself that you will become “emotionally fit.” I promise you, your life will change and you will never look back!

Happy New Year!

Cheers,
Paul

National Stress Awareness Day

Today is National Stress Awareness Day. It’s ironic but most of us function daily with high stress and are not even aware of it. I like to describe stress as the feeling of having so much to do and not enough time to get it done. It feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Stress affects every cell in our body. Stress makes everything worse inside of us physically and emotionally.

Stress reduction starts with awareness. Once you can identify your stressors you can formulate a plan. A major part of the plan is to decide what is in and what is out of your control. However, this may not be so easy if you are dealing with an unhealthy emotionally self. I believe buried feelings never die and when we have unresolved negative emotions (this makes our emotional self unhealthy), all of these unresolved emotions inside of our body automatically raises our stress level. I have met very few people in my practice who do not have buried negative emotions. Taking a little time, getting temporarily uncomfortable, confronting and resolving these buried feelings will automatically lower your stress and even eliminate stress.

Once these toxins are resolved, the present stress may not seem so intense and may be easier to resolve and take less time to resolve. Also, letting go of the things that are out of your control may be easier as well.#NationalStressAwarenessDay

For more information on reducing your stress in a healthy way and even resolving your buried negative emotions, email me at paulcartone@live.com or visit http://www.justbementallyfree.comEmotional Cleanse Challenge

Loving Yourself!

I love this banner!  A friend of mine posted and I wanted to share.

It’s a great reminder that although you may have a servant heart, you are not a doormat!  Pleasing is living out of fear, fear of rejection, abandonment, losing control…the list goes on.

When you don’t like yourself, it’s difficult to discern living in fear and being a pleaser vs living out of self-love and letting go of outcomes. Fear rules your life. Your “Bodymind” is consumed with buried negative emotional toxins.

When you like yourself, it’s easier to discern and recognize fear based pleasing. The love in your “Bodymind” is there but still covered in toxins that need to be cleansed.

When you begin to love yourself, fear is losing and you begin to feel a state of security and the need for pleasing is losing momentum as well.  You begin to make yourself a priority and start recognizing your needs.  Happiness is generated more internally and not artificially produced by pleasing.  Your “Bodymind” is aligning with your mind and there is less discord.

When you truly love yourself, you’re in a state of incredible self-security and your “Bodymind” is in sync with your mind.  Self-love is guiding you.  Fear no longer consumes you and is returned to it’s place in our logical mind and helps us when needed. The foundation of inner-peace is ever present in our “Bodymind.”  This is the beginning of existing out of your true authentic self!12654562_889235164478149_2330417083512972207_n

Quit Smoking in 2016!

Check out my video “Just Be Mentally Free Minute For Anxiety” on Forgiveness and why not forgiving is toxic to you!

https://goo.gl/wzWpqQ

You can probably tell by my posts about doing an Emotional Cleanse that I am passionate about helping people with their health.  I love what I do because it’s personally rewarding helping people reach their goals.  One of the areas I really enjoy helping people with is addiction, specifically smoking.

Do you or your loved one need to quit smoking? I can help…Check this out!

Quit cigarettes by releasing the emotions which keep you coming back for more…. Stop Starting Now and Remain 100% Smoke Free!

“Break Free Without Cravings Or Gaining Weight, Avoid The Rising Cost Of Cigarettes, Regain Your Health While You Enjoy Giving Up Cigarettes”

Emotional Freedom Technique which is simply the quickest and most effective way to deal with doubts, obstacles, triggers, cravings, concerns, and emotions that most people who are quitting smoking have to deal with.  Not only does this help make the transition to non-smoking easier, it better equips ex-smokers to deal with any stressful situations that may cause a relapse.

EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique Removes The Obstacles Individuals Face When Quitting Cigarettes…

Pills, Gum and Patches…Do These Work?

Honestly, do you know anyone who has ever successfully given up smoking from using any of these methods – Pills, Gums or Patchs? NO !!! … I know I don’t, and I bet you don’t either.  The reason why many of these types of products do not work is because many of them contain the very same addictive drug which is found in cigarettes.  These nicotine based smoke replacement products are part of a cruel roundabout which keeps you coming back for more, and is exactly what the cigarette companies want.  These types of products do not address the reasons why we as smokers maintain the habit.  Not only are we addicted to the nicotine but our subconscious minds are running in overtime as we go about our normal daily activities reminding us to light up a smoke.  Smoking has become such a big part of our lives that suddenly being without cigarettes becomes overwhelming for many people because so many of our emotions are now connected with smoking.  The act of trying to quit also becomes yet another trigger in our subconscious minds, so we are doomed before we start when using these types of nicotine based products.

Emotional Freedom Technique is fast becoming the worlds leading tool to release the negative emotions and limiting beliefs in our subconscious minds, such as the belief, “I cannot quit cigarettes.”

I have 17 years experience using EFT with my clients helping them overcome anxiety, depression, abuse, grief, anger, addictions, negative thinking, the list goes on!

The Smoking Cessation Program includes:

3 sessions (online via Skype, Vsee or in person at my office) $120 ($180 savings)and a 10 Day Cleanse that will help rid your body of toxins and waste ($31.50 plus tax and shipping) (The AdvoCare® Herbal Cleanse system can help rid your body of toxins and waste with its unique blend of herbal ingredients.* Using a systematic approach, this 10-day system guides you day by day through the steps for thorough internal cleansing and improved digestion.* Herbal Cleanse supports the body’s metabolic systems and general health during the detoxification process by helping to keep energy levels up, aiding in removing impurities and supporting the immune system.* Some people who use Herbal Cleanse for the first time experience an encouraging weight reduction and/or reduction in inches when they pair the system with the recommended diet and exercise).

As you probably know (and may have experienced yourself first-hand) it’s one thing to talk about quitting smoking and it’s another thing to make the decision.  Honestly, it can be easier than you think when you make the decision along with the right guidance up front.  Let me help you become smoke free.

If you have questions or want to get started, you can message me here or click on this link:  https://goo.gl/9UP8rL.

In Good Health,

Paul